The Unthinkable..

"You can't teach an old dog new tricks" 

"You'll never change"

"Once you start, you will not be able to stop"

All of these quotes are pretty common in todays society. There isn't hope. "I've gone too far". This thought system is so wrong. You see as chosen people we CAN start over. We can change. Impossible has never been so close to coming true. Christs' love for us is enough to not only cover the past but build us the foundation we need for support in our everyday life. The thought that the word impossible is relevant is so twisted. Nothing is impossible for Christ Jesus. This mindset is pretty desirable though for us. I mean, think about it...once you sin a few times it is easy to slip into "well im not going to get any better, so why stop now?"

     I know that for me this thought has passed through my mind a lot. But please, listen to what Christ is saying in Romans 12:1 "And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice--the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him." He does not care what we look like on the outside. Not at all, all he is asking for is our soul. Our "body". You can be broken and hurt, suffering and ashamed but after you realize this; run to Jesus. Run with arms wide open. 

    Today in church we sang a song How Can I Keep From Singing. This song made me cry. We sing it about every 2 or 3 weeks and EVERY time it gets me. "I know i am loved by the king, and it makes my heart want to sing" Christ Jesus, the RULER of the Universe loves me. I am his desire. He is my biggest fan, rooting for me to take the straight and narrow. If i have Him on my team then  "well im not going to get any better, so why stop now?" this mind set is counterproductive. 

    I live in a small town. Im just another average student.I 3.5 on a good day. Im short. I eat too much junk food. I watch too much tv. I cry too much.I have black hair. I laugh loud. But none of that defines me. I am LOVED by a king. That defines me. Ladies and Gentlemen next time someone tells you that impossible is real. Just remember this. 

    In my home town everyone said that it would never snow. I've lived here 15 years. All we see is frost every winter. Because snow was "impossible". Not this year. 

This year it snowed. Impossible is not a word when it comes to God. Be it to do with the climate, my attitude or anything in between. Our God is more powerful than "impossible" 

And Then I'll Sing

Days like today make being happy seem so far away. Like truly being happy is impossible. But then i stop. I stop and turn up my iPod and think. Try to really look into my life and see what is going on. Then i stop and think. Why am i here? What is it for? Then i realize that it does not matter. I was put on this Earth by my Father. I was put here to be a light in the darkness. And for that i can stop. in the middle of the road. Stop and sing. 

In these feelings today i made a list of things that make me smile. Make me happy to be here.

To be able to be who i want with my friends is so important to me. God has blessed me with friends who dont care if i'm too loud, if my laugh is embarrassing and if i sleep talk. 

Having a brother who will listen to me no matter what is going on is so amazing...

Having a Friend who doesn't care that i'm not athletic, and someone who will take photos with me over and over...

Being able to be who i want to be...

                                                                                                              

Having a friend to be different with...

Crying...

Having friends who know that i change my mind....

Laughing, Crying, Hitting, Screaming, Hurting and Hugging all with the same person....

Leaving my mark on this earth...

For these things i am happy. And for these things, ill stop and sing. 

Second Family

Happiness is a choice and i have made the right choice. That choice led me to my second family. This family is amazing. They care for me and love me no matter what. They also make me laugh so much. They make me realize that i CAN be happy without drama. They are something i would not trade in for anything.

These are my boys. My brothers. My second family. They are quick to make me laugh but also say things that cause me to slug them every once and a while.That  includes the fish boys...;)

Having them in my life has been such a blessing. It's caused me to think and also caused me to cherish them. 

Not only do they tease me for my girlie side, but they bring out my tom-girl side more and more. 

They taught me how to play baseball one day. Don't worry i got teased for my girlie swing. 

They let me shoot guns with them a while ago.All the Barbie's and chocolate in the world can not top that day.

They got me hooked on a ultra nerdy card game. They teased me for liking the shiny cards. 

They took me quadding one day. They still tease me for feeling so happy that i broke 10 mph.

Not only do i feel like the boys are my brothers but their mom and dad feel like family too. Their dad is like my second dad in more than just the sentimental way.He teases me to the point of no return, but at the same time i know that he will tell me when i'm out of line. Their mom is just like my mom as well. Seeing her and what an amazing mother she is inspires me to be like her. She is loving and caring to all of us, even when i know that i don't deserve it. 

They constantly are coming up with ways to make me laugh and constantly i am so happy that they are in my life. 

 At first i just didn't want to intrude. I didn't want to stay for dinner and i guess you could say i wasn't really used to people being so inviting. Now, not only do i love dinner with them but i know where i sit at the table. I hate going first but it's a "good way to teach the boys manners"

i love these boys so much and i couldn't be any happier that they are my second family.

Conner, Kaitlyn and me.

Caleb, me and Canon

Cancan, my little ninja 

safe right here

i have always grown up in a small town.
too small if you ask me.
it is much like a fish tank.
open.
clear.
no privacy whatsoever.
gets dirty, and when it does everyone can see.
well i've hated this town for too long. always wanting to leave every chance i get. i thought about this. this weird hate i have for here. and then i thought about who i would be without it. i would not be who i am today. that is for sure.
i would not have laughed as much.
i would not have cried as much.
i would not have learned how to entertain myself and friends as much.
i would not be as confident as i am.
and i would not love like i love.
fear consumes me a lot. i never really trust. that is not one of my stronger points. im scared of being safe. im scared of failing. but here. right now. right now i feel safe.

The Fight

 Best friend is one who accepts the good as well bad qualities of his or her friend and also takes an initiative in correcting and mending them. - Anonymous

I don't know if you have a best friend. But i do. Someone who is always there for you no matter what. Through the ups and the downs they are always there. Someone who makes you smile when you want to cry and someone who knows just by "the look" that you need a hug. That someone in my life is Krista. 

Freshman Year

 We met freshman year and have been stuck since then. Never once did i think that i would have a friend like her. We had a class together as Freshies and that's where it all started. I was so happy that she was my friend and sooner or later we became best friends. We talk the same, think the same and shared the same clothes. 

Never would i have ever thought that that girl would still be in my life today. 

Sophomore Year

The next year we were just as close, if not closer. That year is when i realized how much i love krista. That year also contained the most fights we had ever fought. But with every fight our relationship got stronger. "Obstacles are put in your way to see who is worth climbing over for" -unknown. 

This quote really defines our friendship. We have had so many fights i can't even count. But, our laughs, smiles and memories cover our fights by a mile. I wish i could be as good as a friend to her as she is to me. I wish that she knew how much she means to me. i wish. i wish. i wish. 

Junior Year

Then this year came. we drifted apart and it tore my heart out. We also have had our fights this year, but would we be Em&&Kris without them? This year has taught me a lot about myself and my relationships. 

But most importantly i learned about having good friends. 

I am busy a lot. I have a lot on my plate. But what makes a good friend. no. A best friend is that regardless of our schedules we still love each other. 

So here is to...

all the laughs

She Thinks My Tractors Sexy

"Suffrage, the right to vote!"

White Cheddar Cheese-its

Late night talks

all the tears

Super T

Togo's 

Passing notes in Moore's

Schleeters!! 

The cabin

Sitting on your counter

Girl nights 

Our fights

Making fun of people 

And the times to come. 

Krista- you are a fight im willing to fight. 

When?

Lately I have been losing sleep. i have made one too many Pro and Cons lists. i have written letter after letter trying to explain myself. I dont know what to do or where to turn. i know what i want. but then when i wake up i feel like i have made the wrong choice. Every day it's different. How do you know that you have made the right choice? How do you know it is all "going to be okay" why cant the people that you want, want you back? how long is it going to be until i get my answers? how long. how long. 

Look Again

Today my friend asked me a question. 
"Em, if there was one thing you could change about yourself, what would it be?"
 I thought really hard about it but then told myself to stop. I am content with who i am so why focus on the negative? Well that mindset worked for about 10 min. 
Later i found myself in front of my full length mirror. I was just looking. Looking and pondering. 
What would i change? 
Would it be my eyes? 
What about making my hair more straight? 
I would love it if i was tanner. 
I also don't like my thunder thighs. 
How about my freckles. Nasty. 
What about the huge gap in my two front teeth? 
I could gain a few inches && 
i would love it if my stomach was flatter. 
so quickly i can find things wrong with me. But think about it, is that healthy? NO! it is so unhealthy and wrong. 
Shoot, i love my hazel eyes. 
i love that i can rock the afro. 
i love the fact I've never had a sun burn. 
i like having some meat on my bones. It makes my pants fit better. 
My freckles make me who i am.
Same with my gap.
I am who i am. I wouldn't change a thing about myself and i encourage you to think about this. When you look at something with a negative mindset you will only get negative results. But if you look again, you never know what might happen.