Reading Between The Lines

Have you ever felt like no matter what you do that you are not good enough?
No matter how hard you work at something that you can not succeed?
Welcome to my life. That is how i have been feeling recently. Like no matter what situation i am in i can not reach par. It sucks. And it happens too regularly. I am SO tired of feeling not good enough. I'm tired of being "that girl" that always needs someone to be praying for her. I really hate it. Well, i have realized that it does not matter what i think or feel. All that matters is what God thinks. The only thing about me that matters is what God thinks.
 My sister gave me this quote a while ago "There is NOTHING i can do to gain or lose Christs Love". That has saved me so many times. Well i have been thinking a lot about that lately. In my life, with my friends, with my family, with whatever really- i do not have the same feelings. People can lose my love so quickly. I have always been one to shut people out as soon as they hurt me and i have always been one to not be very approachable to new people. Well today in church in one of the songs this line jumped out at me "He had no tears for His own griefs, But sweat drops of blood for mine. " This pierced me so deep. Christ died for me! Died for me. And  yet i can't just apologize to someone? I'm super awesome. Today, has just been so humbling. It is not because of me. nothing is. I need to step back, look at my life again and realize that EVERYTHING good is because of Christs love for me. So my hope for myself, and for you , is that the next time someone hurts me, i can just remember how much i hurt Jesus, then realize that my little drama is no where near as important as my walk with Christ. I hope that God will work in your heart, if he has not already, about this topic. That he would just show you that live is bigger than today and that you shouldn't be so worried about the little things, but that you would be encouraged by Christs astonishing love for you.

Bradly&KileyMay

I have not written in a while due to finals, being sick and just being busy.
But lately i have been thinking a lot about hope. About taking chances and making sure to get the most out of life. I have two people in my life that really teach me to do so. They, coincidentally, are sisters. I grew up with these two girls and really love them like they are my sisters. We sure fight like we could be sisters. But in all honesty i do not think that they know how much they mean to me...we've been through a lot together, us three. And im so excited for this summer and next year. But mostly im excited to tell them that life is more than today. Its bigger than douche-bag boys, fights with parents, back stabbing girls and hurtful hits. Life is more.
I wrote this the other day and i would like to "give" it to these girls. Just to remind them that life is more.

One last chance
at hope and love.
What this is is
Happiness.
Open your eyes
and see your life.
This feeling that everyone tries to buy.
So paint me a picture,
Sketch me a drawing-
Your motivation.
With every stroke and
every smudge
dont turn back.
Just let love in,
Your canvas is fresh
with every layer of paint.
There is no restart,
just lessons learned.
You can change your medium,
But you are still in charge.
This, is your last chance
to let love be the guide.