Forgiveness, Hope & Frozen Greek Yogurt

I have been thinking. A lot. About so much. My mind floats away to different sections of my life & so much bubbles to the surface. Some of these thoughts scare me so i put them back, such as the fact that i am going to be moving clear across the country and leaving behind my best friends and my family- but lets not talk about that. I think about my definition of happiness.
Man has it changed drastically.
But i guess what my main point of this is that that is okay.
No one can define your life. You have to do that on your own. Trust me. I've done that and there is NOTHING rewarding about it.
I think the most defining points of my most recent life was the moment when i let go
of hurt, resentment, fear and of my krypronite. When you hold on to hurt and to lies, when you store them in your heart slowly they destroy. Their corruption starts in your center and slowly discolors and infects every area of your life...

We as a people need to realized what and who are important in our lives.
Because once the negitive and painful memories are gone there is room for better, sweeter and more supportive memories to be stored & saved.

Joy:

Grace

God's provision 

Faith

Light in the dark

Restoration 

God given 

Blood 

Renewal 

Comical 

I've been thinking a lot.
About a lot.
Yeah- originally i was excited about going to PA for school because i had not a single string tying me to CA...
i was wrong.

Forget Me Not

He sat across the table from me telling a story i knew but couldn't listen to.
I tried to block out the words as he told them, but my ears wouldn't close.
He painted such a vivid picture in my mind, it's like i was there.
It was worse than i had imagined and as my eyes filled to the brim with tears i distracted myself.
Listening to the words of sorrow spill over the table i started thinking about my relationship with him. About how much he meant to me. I went back to sophomore year when i had class with him Tuesday- Friday at too-early-oclock in the morning. I went back to the talks he would give me about boys and about how i deserved better. I went back to the day when Max died how he was there. I went back to my 17 min. long hug on my 17th birthday. I went back and i smiled.
But then my mind drifted to the few months where he was gone. It got dark as i remembered de-friend-ing him. And even darker when i would walk by and see him at school and not be able to just run up an hug him.
But then i fast forwarded to this evening. Seeing him at my party just makes my heart happy.
When we graduated and walked out of the aisles of plastic white chairs i was hugging him. The end of high school and i finally had him back. When we hugged for our photo op in our caps and gowns i wanted to cry.
This boy means so much to me i really can't handle it.
I guess what they say is so true- you do not know what you have until its gone.
 i know that he is going to school far away from me and i know that we have had our up's and down's but i hope he knows how much he means to me. i love him so much and i am so proud of who he is.
He have been through so much and yet he lights up a room when he walks into it. I am so blessed to have him in my life and i love him to the moon and back.I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is going places in life and i hope he knows i support him and will always be here for him.

He sat across the table from me and i remembered how blessed i am.

Life as i see it

Some people do not realize what they have until its gone. 

God gives and God takes.

Sometimes gratitude is 3 steps behind and once it's forever missing

your heart breaks. 

Some people are spotlights on situations. 

They shine so bright and around them no one is sad. 

Some people are blessings, 

handed from the heavens and a life jacket for those who can't swim. 

Some people are rocks.

Rocks that hold us down but we can't let go of. 

Some people are mirrors.

You look into their eyes and know they struggle just like you. 

They hurt and laugh at the very same thing. 

Some people are like shadows, 

as soon as everyone's backs are turned 

they evaporate into the air & are gone 

It's like they were never really there. 

Life is about people and about reason. 

Its about dancing in the rain & withstanding all the pain. 

Some people know who to turn to when the going gets tough 

but some people peace out when the road gets rough.