mel·an·chol·y Sadness or depression of the spirits; gloom
I start to feel this way a lot.&I feel like im just settling and not really living each day to it's fullest. Like i am miss-using this time. I never really wanted to say that out loud because heaven forbid i ever say something like that. It's drastic to even think that but in all honesty i can say that i feel slightly depressed. I want my life to consist of more than just school, homework, meals. I want to be able to be joyful, not just happy. i want to content with where i am now, not with where i am going to be.
God is so great, no matter what I do, no matter how far I wander He still calls me His own.
No matter what is going on in my life I want to always have a giant hole that can only be filled with Jesus' name.
These feelings of emptiness are what i need, they are reminders to me that if I'm not completely submerged in scripture and Christ I Will feel incomplete.
I had an amazing conversation about all of this with my close friend. We shared our hurt and frustration just with friendships and relationships. As we talked our words paired up. We were on the same track. We made a pact to everyday text each other a yes or a no depending on if we felt empty that day and if we did that we would encourage each other and put God first.
I'm thankful for rude and hurtful awakenings. I'm thankful for feelings of depression . And I'm so thankful for that friend.
Above all I'm thankful for Christ tugging on the strings of our hearts.
If feeling depressed is what needs to happen for me to realize that I need to fall deeper in love with My Maker then Amen.
