Today was tough.
I had to make a few choices that i did not want to.
I was full of regret right after they happened.
This whole week really has been hard.
And it's only Monday.
I want to make my life as easy as possible.
I went into Junior Year thinking ,"This year will be a piece of cake. i have amazing friends, a solid relationship with Christ and good classes." What could go wrong?
Well, ladies and Gents...i have been to 6 full days of Junior Year and what happened on the SECOND day!? I cried.
Yep. Big, Bad, eleventh grader...Cried.
Fell to pieces.
What is wrong with me? Why do i crack under pressure so easily?
Well i dont have that answer for myself or you yet. I wish that i did. I wish i knew.
So far what i have come up with is the structure of a relationship.
Every person in my life is going to frustrate me. BUT because of how much i love them, they stay in my life. Its inevitable. I love hard. Sometimes too hard for my own good. Then Every once and a while that person is going to hurt me. A lot. BUT once again because of love: they are still here.
Its just the process in which all of this takes place that hurts the most.
I look at myself a lot and dont think that i can make it. I cant make it some days, hence all the crying. I crack under pressure and cant handle the hurt or frustration.
Today was tough.
The choices i made were hard.
I didnt like doing/making them.
Today was necessary.
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