stuck in the hurt

i guess it just sucks to feel not good enough. Like you dont mean anything to someone who clearly meant a lot to you.
i guess that this is stupid to feel hurt about still.
i guess that i need to move on.
i guess i already have moved on, i just wish you hadn't.
i guess i wanted you to hurt like you hurt me.
i guess that is wrong.
i guess i could classify you as a mistake, but i prefer "learning experience".
i guess i still lay awake at night thinking about the past.
i guess that is a waste of time.
i guess that my definition of happiness if now so different from when i was yours.

i understand why we are over.
i understand why i am sad.
i understand that i deserve better.
i understand  you didn't think i was cutting it.
i understand that it was your mistake.

i hope that because of you i will learn to be careful.
i hope that this is the last time i think about you.
i hope you are happy. but...
i hope that you feel bad.
i hope that the next is nothing like you.

i hate that i am the only one hurt.
i hate that you never really cared.
i hate that now i cant look at you without rolling my eyes.
i hate that i hate this.
i hate that you are gone.
i hate that you were here.

i feel bad for not reaching par
i feel like you might not have been ready, though.
i feel grateful for you, but...
i feel a whole lot better without you.

i know that i am happy now.
i know that you just were not right for me.
i know that he is out there&&
i know he'll treat me right.