Stop #188

"It's crazy to me how hospitable and loving some people are."
This thought has been running through my mind all week.
On Monday I said goodbye to the town I grew up in and to the people I love the most. As I sat down in the window seat, tear tracks visible through my foundation. I pressed my face against the glass & said goodbye to home. Goodbye to all things that were somewhat familiar.
It wasn't fear that was consuming my thoughts, I don't exactly know what it was. It was a feeling ive never felt.
I tried to get some sleep but it was an unrealistic goal. As I got closer to My destination I felt a calming presence. I wasn't worried, I was sad, actually devastated, I left all that I knew, I traded it for a foreign town. All my inside jokes left their audience & all My quirks left their safe zone. But even with this overwhelming sadness I felt, I knew I'd be alright.
As I stepped on campus the sorrow didn't disappear but it was sedated, there was an unrealistic amount of love here and all the sudden I knew I was going to be okay.
I've lived here less than a week and yet already I feel so at home.
I'm not used to it here, to manners and to respectful males, I'm not used to people genuinely wondering how my day went. These people who don't even know my story still love me.
"it's crazy how hospitable and loving some people are",
This thought consumes me & every time someone acts in love or kindness I am astounded once again.
Nowhere can replace Hollister and the memories carved into my home town, but, there is a certain consistent language of love here. A intangible feeling of acceptance and an intense love for Jesus and others.

Yes, she's taller

I get really scared that since I'm moving away for college I am going to miss out on my little sisters life.
I'm not going to be here for prom, or for her first football game, homecoming or there for her during finals week.
I get really scared that she's going to get beat up at school or that someone is going to be mean to her & that I wont be there to defend her honor.
I love my sister more than words can describe...I am so proud of her, of her choices and just of who she is becoming.
I get really scared that with this unbearable distance in-between us that we are going to drift apart...but today in the car as we were drivin around town, I realized that my relationship with her is built on more than just similar tastes in music or tv shows. Our relationship is built on the love we share for Christ Jesus and the love we have for each other.

I get scared when I think about leaving but it makes Christmas break all the more sweeter

By Grace Alone

19. I never thought I would shake due to a number, never though it would make me break down. I was wrong. There is nothing more that I hate than that number; there is nothing that excites me more than 19.
I guess I am just going to get used to crying. That's my mindset. I tried to fight it today. Actually for the past few weeks. I suppose that I'm so upset about 19 because I finally have my bestfriend back and now I'm leaving. I have to pack all my clothes, take down all my photos and shove my shoes somewhere, hop on a plane and say goodbye to California for 6 months. I've never been so excited and so freaking scared at the same time. I'm ready to leave, but I'm not ready to go without my smiles, without my boys& without the girls I hold so close.
I am grateful for the time I've had with them, but I feel cheated.
I guess that I'm okay with crying, cause I'm not hurting, I'm full of joy in fact. Getting used to the stomach turning fact of leaving the ones I love will take a while, but for now- now I'm just going to seize the day. Enjoy all the smiles and take too many pictures

19 is scary. 19 more days, 19 more sunsets on the west coast. 

But 19- you can not rob me of my joy & of the memories i am making with the ones i love