God has been testing me.
He has been taking things that i thought i "needed" and stripping them away.
It hurts. a lot. That's just me being honest.
It's hard to watch normality fly out the window and have to find a cute headband and chunky earrings that match uncomfortable.
While trying to balance, well no--trying to figure out HOW to balance life at the moment certain people have been like a life-raft.
When i got home yesterday there was a package on my living room floor. I knew exactly who it was from.
I recognized her handwriting as soon as i read my name.
Denae.
I was confused as to what was in the package so i ripped it open. As soon as i did i lost it.
I hadn't cried that hard in a long time.
As i opened the envelope i saw pink paper and pictures of the people i love.
She made me a calendar.
That may seem like nothing to you, but to me...it meant the world.
The front brought tears and as i flipped through the pages, her love and how much she cares about me became more and more evident.
Pictures of people from home and from at school. She went as far as emailing people and finding out their birthdays so that i would have it on the pages.
Every page has a verse on it to encourage and remind me of the truths i so quickly forget.
Not only do the pictures correspond with whose birthday it is, she also put all Simpson, LBC and PBU holidays and big events.
This quote is something that she reminds me of all the time. Man, she really loves me. That's what i don't get.
This is the nicest gift i have ever received. She CARES about getting to know me. She cares about investing. The pictures in this could not be more accurate and could not display my heart better. She included the most important people in my life and it was complete with drawings and all :)
After i flipped through all the months an envelope fell off my bed
I felt it and it was thick. I though it was extra pictures so i smiled.
When i opened it my knees gave out and i fell over.
That seems dramatic, but like i said, i am still trying to figure out how to balance.
Out of the envelope fell a handful of folded binder paper.
She wrote me a letter for every month of the year. People, i don't get it. I really don't.
The letters not only overwhelmed me but it was God giving me a reminder.
I don't like being cliche. I think that has a lot to do with knowing people who are cliche and i just don't like being the same as other people. Anyone who knows me knows i am not exactly "typical". I am a handful and i know that. I have a lot of issues and i would rather ask about how other peoples lives are going. I would rather help others, i pour into others lives and in many cases i care too much. I will invest more in others than they invest in me and that hurts. It really does. Denae is the exception. She has continually poured into me and invested in me EVEN through all my drama, she has always been there. EVEN from 9 states away she has the perfect timing.
God has been stripping me of somethings i thought i couldn't live without and He has been reminding me of the things that even though i am not living with, they still are the most important.
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