what does kill you.

too often are we wrapped up in our own hurt, frustration, insecurities and pain to see that right across the room someone else is hurting.
make a collaborative effort to pay more attention to others and not stay consumed in your own drama.
make an effort to be nice.
just be nice.
kind words go further than you can imagine.
mean looks stay in others mind for longer than you think.
would it kill you to be nice?
no.
too often are we wrapped up in our own life to see that we are hurting others.
just be nice.

Jet lag & heartbreak

Tonight my heart is heavy. I am preoccupied and restless. 

I don't feel good physically, I'm exhausted emotionally and I'm distracted mentally. 

Tonight i miss my loved ones in PA, a lot. 

No, that doesn't cover it. 

The past few weeks I find myself crying uncontrollably over them. I printed off pictures tonight. We are hugging, laughing, there were some classic baby bump pictures, the works. I thought it was going to work, maybe hold me over..no. 

LBC had it's ups and downs, as anything, but the friendships I have gained from that cold, Mexican foodless state, those friendships mean the world to me. You guys keep me sane, you keep me focused and you keep me laughing (y'all know who you are).

Tonight i am petrified for Simpson. 

Shockingly enough I am most concerned about my dorm decoration, making friends and the fact my biology lab interferes with dinner time. (In that order). I'm nervous about my roommate, meeting her and our relationship. I'm a little annoyed that I have to do orientation...all over again. 

Tonight I am finding any reason to not be okay. 

I hate feeling people's heart beat & when I can feel mine I have to go outside.

Tonight I felt my ticker & walked outside. I reclined in our fancy shmancy lawn chair. 

The stars. 

Speachless. 

I'm tiny. 

I'm a wimp. 

Skype & FaceTime along with plane tickets.

Thursdays I will eat before my lab. 

& ill find someone during WOW week who hates it as much as me. 

Sometimes when you are all you can think about it's wise to take a step back. 

Perspective, yes P, it really makes a hell of a difference 

What is love?

"Love"
It's a lot of things.
Most popularly it is passion. It's kisses and affection. It's a perfectly placed hand on her back or that look from across the room. The look that says more than anyone else knows. Love is known as newlyweds. Love is seen as big diamonds and expensive shoes given as gifts. Love is expressed through "I do" and embodied in children.
Love is a lot.
I think about love a lot.
More than I should.
I think about who I will marry, what life will be like, where we should register & what color I want my bridesmaids to wear. I think about the feeling of "love" . Will I know as soon as I meet Mr. Mine or will it take a while? Have I already met him? Really all I want to know is who this brave man is!
But this week i have been readjusting thoughts, I have been watching what real love is.
True Love is warming up his dentures before he wakes up, waking up at 3 a.m every morning to change his diaper. True love is allowing him to drive even though you have to make sure the lanes are clear before he changes, it's yelling at the top of your lungs just so he can hear you say good morning. True love is reminding him that you're his wife, it's showing him pictures of his grandkids and reviewing their names. It's helping him out of bed & bathing him.
Genuine, true love is for better or for worse.

this will most likely be boring

yesterday i watched a video for an organization that helps provide emergency care for rape victims.
they were selling a product through Sevenly, a website that each week promotes a different non-profit and designs (ADORABLE) apparel for said cause, and i got an email with their promotion video.
as i continued to do research on the organization i quickly found my wallet and purchased a tshirt.
im a sucker for it.
but i dont care.
its worth it.
reading different stories and hearing women tell of their heart break and yet seeing the hope in their eyes. seeing that they are not over; its not over. i flashed back to classes last year at LBC. different cases i had to work through and different scenarios i try to decided what to do with. i got the butterflies.
i am so excited.
i am excited to be knee deep in heart break.
that is probably not something you hear everyday, but its true.
in fact, i hate that i have 3+ years left of school before i can start working.
i dont know where i will be working, i just cant wait.
i cant.