Even in my Spiderman Jammies

remember the roundabouts on playgrounds?
the little death traps that looked like they were a promise of a good time, but in reality you got off feeling woozy.
i feel like life is a roundabout.
it looks promising a lot of the time but if you allow yourself to, it can be a sickening ride.
i distinctly remember a birthday party at my friend Stephanie's house. she had a full playground and at the crack of dawn (okay, it was more like 10 A.M but if felt early) we all ran out in our jammies to play. Steph was 11 and we had crowned ourselves the rulers of the playground. i wanted to play pirates but instead we had a competition to see who could stay on the roundabout the longest. --let me interject here really quickly, the word "competitive" does not even start to describe who i am, so even at 10 years old i was determined to take first place.
we all jumped on as her dad started to crank up the piece of equipment we all were grasping onto for dear life.
the weakest links quickly surrendered and jumped off into the tanbark.
i remember hearing my name and seeing blurs of my friends zoom past me.
as my opponents dwindled down i remember my hands were slipping and my leg took the beating for that mistake. (i still have the scar from the piece of wood that pierced me). i couldnt give up.
i wouldnt.
then, one of the worst moments of my little life was about to happen.
before i could do anything my breakfast decided to abandon me on this victory lap and i lost it.
not knowing if my Spiderman Pj's would be able to be redeemed from this disaster i could hear all my friends start screaming i just remember asking, "am i the last one?"
Steph's dad carried me inside where i was pumped with Saltines and Gatorade...nevertheless, the champion.


this little antidote reminds me a lot of life.
you have to fight.
you have to hold on.
and sometimes it gets messy, you get hurt, you lose people, you watch people leave you, but at the end- no matter how awful circumstances are, there is always going to be Someone to carry you to safety and nurse you back to health.
some days it hurts because of who jumped off the ride,
some days that tanbark gets under your skin deeper than you want.
but the end is worth it.
so, dust off your polyester armor and remember that life is somewhat of a roundabout.