Today I went to my stop and saw an envelope.
My heart started racing, I knew who it was from and I was more than excited for
it! The return address was stamped Azusa Pacific, the college my best friend
goes to. I wanted to scream. Almost late for class I gripped my letter tight
and walked briskly to class. I ripped open the letter once I was in my seat.
Just seeing her handwriting made me heart ache with happiness. My eyes glided
over the stationary and the comments she had written, and I literally laughed out loud. I kept
re-reading the hilarious comments and was smiling like an idiot. I traced the
impressions her handwriting made on the cardstock and tears started to form. I
hadn’t even opened her letter yet and I was already an emotional wreck. As I read
the words of love and encouragement I just started to smile. There were words
of truth, words of affirmation and words of love. The loudest words in the
whole letter were the ones of promise. The ones that begged me to stay in her
life. Little does she know, the letter I wrote her today proposed the same
thing.
As I sat in my seat smiling and
crying I began to just pray and ask God why He has me so far away from her. Why
do I have to send her voice recordings because we can’t talk on the phone long
distance. Why do I have to send her to Facebook to look up my friends or people
to stalk. Why do I text her, “Good morning” before she is even awake. Why is her
lunch time my dinner time. Why? Why! Why?! I started getting frustrated and angry
with the distance. My best friend and I are separated by 9 states. 9.
That is not okay. It’s not fair and it is not easy. But what
it does scream to me is the definition of our friendship. It shows me that even
though we are so far away and it hurts me so deeply, that it’s okay.
I never really thought about “long distance relationships”
other than dating. And I put the kibosh on that because my attention span is
not that long, but now I see it in a light that is so different. Yes, I hate
everything about the distance. Let me reassure you about that, but what I love
is that there has not been one day since August 20 that I have not talked to
her. There have been countless photos sent and voicemails left. There have been
quotes and Facebook posts and im spending all my money on stamps to send the
letters I write every day. Yes this stings my heart and I have break downs. I
miss her to the point where I get sick to my stomach but God is good. ALL THE
TIME.
He is using this season in my life as a way of teaching me dependence
on Him and that through Him, all things are possible. Even being 9 states away
from your partner in crime, your secret holder, your best friend and your own
personal gift from God.
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