Long talks with Kelly

I grew cold wishing, my thoughts suspended & glances dwindling.
I became impatient waiting. my beat quickening & confidence fading.
Disappointments from the past tiptoe across this canvas.
their soot covered footprints cloud my vision.
I believe in destiny or whatever promise is more appealing.
that or love.
Searching for the blank space for my own thoughts.
We are so different in my mind and that is where i am decieved.
Yet, blissfully safe.
Burn the past, wash away the ashes as they fall from the sky.
The tears remember their tracks along my cheeks &
it is familiar, this feeling.
Outside opinions from the stained glass.
I am paralyzed by grey matter.
be or do not.
Legs curled under my torso as i drift.
Eyes closed due to fear and utter torment.
the kind of shut where it hurts, but the dark is welcoming.
Light is too exposing.
Let me be swept under by the swells,
Let me see the side you do.
Take me down.
let me in.
I grow worried of my interest.
my passion might seem boring.
Who were they.
promised and broken. safe was the consensus. deceived was the felling.
i lost feeling as i walked under these stars.
i can forget while i dream and tomorrow ill live in gray again.
frustrated.