words & their meanings

On the cusp of frustration & conviction I began.

Determined yet irritated I decided to cave.

Silence.

It’s never something I tend to crave.

Scared to death, I found a place.

Reluctant & almost mad

Everywhere I look I see Your face.

Alone.

I have to catch my breath,

I’m petrified of only me.

Is this really what he said he loves?

Reassuring myself that I’m okay, I look around.

Yellow, Red and Green.

They’re turning colors all year round.  

Water cascading & I stop myself.

Is this beauty?

Soon the words come to mind &

They stick.

“Bind my wandering heart to thee”

Is that all that fear ever is?

Delusions.

My heart beats dramatically & my body moves

The rhythm is hypnotic & it takes me away.

How long have I been thinking?

How afraid am i?

Trust.

It’s worth more than gold

More precious than diamonds

& something a bank could never hold.

Cliché yet accurate.

I lack this.

I need this & I crave it.

The wind blows & I’m on a path

Behind me is the past &

I’m walking toward tomorrow.

Alone is what reminds me

Betrayed is how it feels.

This is not what he calls beauty.

Everywhere I look I see Your face.

Even on this path of dark.

“never will I leave you”.

Promise?

Trust again is absent.

A leaf hits me & here I am.

Solitude.

I can breathe.

I am shocked & in disbelief.

Here

It’s never where I thought I would be.

Not here, but here.

Time is demanded &

Consistency is required.

his push is what I needed.

Remaining uncomfortable

Just more aware of beauty.